VOTE

What more is there to say? Don't be a whiner if you don't vote. Don't think your vote doesn't count. It does, really, truly. If you are of any other persuasion than a wealthy, white, land owning male many people fought very hard so you could have the privilege to vote. Don't be an ass and take it for granted. And if you're a wealthy, white, land owning male chances are good that the Founding Fathers wouldn't have been allowed to vote had they not been Americans instead of English (and whatever else).

My personal preference - vote Obama. But even if you don't vote for Obama, get off your ass, get out the door and mark a ballot.

Voting for McCain is a vote for more of the same from someone who is even more egotistical than our current Executive, and his running mate is more stupid than the current Executive. No matter how I look at it it's bad.

Now go vote. I got to the polling place at 6:40am and there were 30 people there by the time the polls opened. I've never seen that before.

Des Moines Marathon - a Tardy report

I ran my second ever (and second Des Moines) marathon on Sunday 10/19/08. Again we had a lovely day, although it got a bit windy at the end. I enjoyed being a slow runner since it allowed me to play tour guide to some of our out of town guests.

I was on track at the 13.1 mile mark to be a minute or two faster than last year. Taking into consideration that I had a negative split last year, I expected that to actually end up being more like 5 minutes. Unfortunately, it was not to be. When I hit Grays Lake at mile 22, I wouldn't say I hit a wall or even "THE WALL" but my legs did become really, really heavy. I kept going but the walking portions became more frequent and a bit longer. I was pooped. So, I ended up finishing slightly slower than last year, by about 30 seconds. How odd is that.

I thought I might have been making some progress with running speed, but in this endeavor it appears not. I'd better get back on that.

I will run another marathon next year. Perhaps I will venture out of the Des Moines area. I have an invitation to run the Lewis & Clark Marathon in 9/09.

Why do I work

Currently, I am working so that I have a house to live in, food to eat, and clothes to wear. I also work because my employer is funding my MPH degree. Aside from that, I see no good reason to venture into the pit of despair each and every weekday.

Really, at one time I loved what I did here. I remember working extra hours, giving 150% and smiling on my way to work. Of course, it wasn't like that every day, but it was like that most days. I've been here 11 years now and I think about the first 5 years were pretty decent, then the 20 months that I worked as a Social Security Consultant in my department, but that job got vendored out (went belly up) in August of 2007 and I landed right back in my old job. I say that I hate this job, but that doesn't really convey the depth or the breadth of how much I despise, loathe and am completely disgusted by this job. I don't enjoy it any more. . .at all. The only redeeming factor is that I like the majority of the people I work with quite well. I suppose that makes it tolerable most days.

I long for the day when I can have a job that makes me happy to get up in the morning. I hope I am able to find something here at my current employer to take me through my degree program, because having that mostly paid for is pretty sweet. It will probably take me about 3 more years to complete my degree. I wonder how long I can live with this unhealthy attitude about my job?

Mistaken Identity

I often think about how I look both with and without clothes. As a formerly fat person and currently "regular" sized person I think my body image is totally screwed up. I'm driven by the numbers on a scale and the ones in the waistbands of my pants. I am a little larger right now than I prefer to be, but where did that preference come from? If I feel healthy and I can run all these races, perhaps I should dwell a little less on how I think I look and try to discover who I really am. . .physically. Sometimes I think I am bigger than I am and sometimes I think I'm smaller. I guess when it comes down to it, neither one is right or wrong. It just is.

So, I'm perusing the Punk Rock Cycling Flickr pictures from our rides this summer, and Donny took this really decent photo of me. I can pick out the flaws (chunky monkey arms) but the two things I like best about this picture are my smile (looks real and not contrived) and my right hand (holding the bottle. . .my fingers look really cool, not sure why I think that, they just do). So, this is a lesson to me to de-emphasize a weight or a size, re-emphasize health, and love the things about me that will always be beautiful no matter what.

Run

I decided not to do any more triathlons this season. I did the last, Cy-man, on Sunday. I was considering another race in Iowa City on 9/21 but I decided I didn't need to spend $60 on a race and $60 on gas when I wasn't swimming and cycling as much as I should. That is because all attention is now focused on the RUN.

The Des Moines Marathon is on 10/19. So, I have 5 weeks to go. I have a 20 mile run this weekend, and one the last weekend of the month and then I will taper to shorter runs. Running 20 miles wouldn't be SO bad if I ran faster. Then it wouldn't take me 4 hours. That is a long, long time to run. It is hard to keep your mind focused and yet unfocused. . .focused on getting the run completed, and yet unfocused on all the aches and pains you develop along the way. And at the end of the long run is the longed for and dreaded ice bath. It hurts like hell at first, but then it feels so good.

I ran 8 miles this morning, in the dark. That's not my favorite, but it was nice to get it done and out of the way. I twisted my ankle a bit, but it doesn't feel too bad so I am hoping nothing more will come of it.

The Boy was awake and watching TV when I came downstairs at 5 am this morning. I got mad at him for being up so early. Guess what, he fell asleep and was asleep on the couch when I got home a little after 7am. OOPS. I guess he really was more tired than he thought. . . I told him he was! Anyway, so that resulted in rushing around so he could get to school, and then lateness at work for me.

I finished a pair of Jaywalker socks for myself and am about 80% done with my first Monkey Sock for Kasi's 18th birthday.

I ride bikes

Last week the Specialized bike rep, a rather teeny but powerful and super-fun, a chick named Amy brought the Specialized WSD bikes to Des Moines. I got to test ride this sweet number. This was my first real experience on a mountain bike. Once I got over being too chicken to go over a curb, I really enjoyed it.

Days in Hell: the Job

Ok, so I've been tired of this job for a long time. I tried to leave a couple of years ago, got another job I pretty well liked that was an adjunct to this department, then about a year ago, they decided to let that department "go." So I begged for this job back. I believe I may have made a mistake. When I "came back" I realized just how much I hate this place. I have tolerated it for a year. I have gone back to school and work is paying for the majority of the school (less the textbooks and miscellaneous fees) so I really want to keep working for the company. But, the straw is breaking this camel's back. We launched a new claim system 4 days ago. It sucks. It has lots of issues. It is NOT easier to use than the prior 30 year old main frame based (Cobol based) system. It is more complex. It takes 10 times longer to do anything. Everyone is at their wits end here and we are all being told to be "positive" about it. I think that's wrong. Examiners have huge caseloads and they are just getting more behind because now something that used to take 5 minutes is taking an hour. I am sure there will be some improvement as we become more proficient with the system, but some things are just inexcuseable. And here's the funny thing, the management knows it sucks and they keep feeding us "treat" food. . .to make us feel better. So pretty soon we will all be 10 pounds heavier and depressed! Way to go.

I love the smell of road rash in the morning

On Saturday 8/9/08 I raced the biggest/longest race of my life. And I finished. The only thing I've ever done that was harder than this race (physically) was delivering my son. My son tore things up a bit when he came into the world and this race tore me up a little bit upon entry as well.

The swim (1.2 miles) took way longer than it should have. It took me an hour. But I wasn't last.

Not 100 feet out of transition on the bike I wiped out on soft gravel. My brain had first told me to WALK my bike over that spot, but I thought I could be tough. Flesh is soft and gravel is sharp and hard. I ripped my left arm up pretty good and got road rash from my shoulder to my knee. But I wasn't broken. With a little assistance I picked myself and my bike up and I gave the rest of the race a go. 56 miles of hills and rolling hills on the bike later. . . I returned to the scene of my fall, got off the bike and walked that damned thing back to transition. At that point I wasn't quite last either, but the leaders were finishing up the race at that point. How nice for them.

I still had 13.1 miles left to run. At many points along the bike portion I thought to myself, "I can just stop now." But I knew I was kidding myself. I wouldn't stop until I was done, or too sick to continue. Oddly enough when I started running I wasn't all that fatigued in the legs. They felt decent. I was tired, but not dead yet.

The trail we ran most of the half marathon on was beautiful. Because there were so few people in the race, there were whole miles that went by where I didn't see another runner, just the prairie or one of the volunteers. Give those volunteers a hand for passing out water for hours and cheering for every last one of us! Did I mention I still wasn't last? I mentally bargained with myself to finish the run. . .one mile at a time. It worked. I ran up that damned Amsterdam Hill at mile 11.5. Well, maybe it was more like a shuffle, but it was NOT a walk! Once I had that done, I knew I could make it in.

Charles, and friends Heather, Jon and Taena were there at the end cheering as hard as they could when they saw me come out of the woods. I almost stopped there to cry, but I gave it the last bit of juice I had and ran over the finish mat. My bike sat alone on its rack. There was one runner behind me, someone must have collected her bike for her. I finished. I wasn't last. I cheered hard for the last person.

I do love this sport, but I also now believe that this distance is not meant for me. It's just a little too much.

I am sore, I am bruised, I am scabbed up, I had a tetanus booster (ouch) but I am a finisher. I hope I can be a finisher with everything important in my life.

Our State Fair

Our State Fair is a great State Fair, don't miss it, don't even be late!

Now, if you can't sing the whole of that song, or even that part of it you must not be from Iowa. Well, I'm not from Iowa. . .originally. I am, however, a born again Iowan. I can't remember the first time I went to the fair. It was either the year I was pregnant with my son, 1995, or the year before that. I suspect the latter.

Having grown up in California, a HUGE state with what, I am sure is a representatively huge state fair, I didn't care a whit about the thing. I never even considered going. I'm not sure where it is either. I think it's somewhere in Southern Cal.

Moving to Iowa in 1986 was eye opening in many ways. As a student from 1986-1990 I almost always went home over the summer and missed the fair. After I graduated, however, all I ever heard about at the end of July and beginning of August was the fair. Who planned to go? How many times were they going? How many corndogs would they eat? And on and on.

I have to admit that while some things get a bit passe, the essence of the fair - the people - never does. Almost a million people attend the fair during its 10 day run in August. Of course, those attendance counts also include the repeat offenders but don't include those little enough to not pay admission. So I guess it does probably come out pretty even up.

I love the people. I love how they sound, how they walk, how they interact with eachother, and what they wear. The fairgrounds come alive with people. They are everywhere and the demographics of the fairgoers are as varied as the sayings on their shirts. My favorite shirt to date said "Muck Fe." You figure it out.

Save a corn dog and a funnel cake for me! http://www.iowastatefair.com

Triathlon

I am a blog slacker. . .so shoot me.

I just finished my second Tri of the season. I finished in 3:13, a PR (personal record) for me. Triathlon is a bit of insanity, a bit of addiction, and a whole lot of fun. I have pushed myself mentally and physically beyond anything I would have ever thought possible. It has been a mind opening experience. In less than 2 weeks I will race in my first ever Half Ironman Triathlon. I am nervous. . .CRAZY nervous. . . but I will show up to the race, and I will give it everything I have. With luck, I will finish. . .with better luck I will not be DFL (dead-fucking-last). . .but I'd rather be DFL than DNF (did-not-finish) or DNS (did-not start).

A doctor who finishes medical school DFL is still a doctor. Someone who goes to medical school but doesn't quite make it still tried, but to not even start on a dream is a great loss.

Triathlon is the reason I am in graduate school finally. I didn't want my life to be a DNS.

Geez

Time flies. What the heck happened. No post for a month?

Well, I finished my first term at Des Moines University in my MPH program. Straight A+ all the way. Who knew? My second term is almost 4 weeks gone and one class will be done on Friday. Classes this term are a bit hedgier than last. I am not enjoying my Social and Behavioral Health class so much. Plus, at the same time I am trying to have a life, and train for races. That's a lot.

I turned 40 last week. I feel great about it. I am one hot 40 year old mama!!

And my garden grows as well.

Motivation

To get out and do either a run or a bike ride tonight is waning. I was thinking I would do my grueling bike hill workout, but it is like 45 degrees, cloudy and windy making it feel like 35. I think NOT. I will get up and run in the dark and the cold tomorrow, but I just can't stomach the wind and the hill tonight. This means I need to commit myself to do the PRC Training Duathlon on Thursday night at Big Creek. I am not wild about this, but my son is babysitting so I would have to be there anyway. I will just suck it up and do that. Looks like Weds and Thurs will both be low 70's but then colder for the weekend. This spring is getting to be depressing.

All my plants think it's spring, but I am afraid they may get too cold tonight and get frosted. That happened last year and some of the plants can't take another spring like that again. I was out working in the yard a bit yesterday afternoon preparing for some tree planting next weekend and I noticed a few spots where there was some ground heaving (not nice) and a few plants that didn't make it through the winter.

Luscious

I love forsythia.

ran the Drake Relays 8K road race today. A respectable 51-ish minutes. I tried for a bike ride afterwards but the wind and cold temps killed me so I cut it short.

I have a training session with a swimming coach on Monday. I hope he can help me get faster - go Mel, go!

SockQuest - I'm dead

These lovely socks made by Eli and Brenda slayed me last weekend.

School is fantastic. Who would have thought that I liked school?

Wednesday night ritual ride was a blast last night http://www.punkrockcycling.com/.

SPRING

A month since I last posted. That's sad. It's mostly spring, but still cold. Socks are being knitted for SockQuest, and classes are being taken by me. I believe I got an A in my first class. YAY! I am still over my desired weight, but the Half Ironman training started last week and is going well.

Go Hillary

While we were driving all those many hours in the car going to and from vacation last month, we listened to a lot of public radio. We also listened to a lot of right wing Republican extremists. Man, was that an eye opener. Good Ol Rush Limbaugh is at the head of the hit parade, but he is followed by many maniacal boors of similar mind set. I heard a lot of negative crap about Hillary and Barack. Oddly enough, because they are SOO far right, most of these guys don't like John McCain much either. Good for that - let's have dissent and division in the Republican party so we can get a democrat in the White House.

While Barack spared no expense to let us know that he hadn't lost much ground by losing Texas, Ohio and Rhode Island last night, it does light a charge under Hillary's campaign. Let me be one of many to say "hot damn!" http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/03/05/march.4.contests/index.html

Screwed up

I screwed up my back working out on Monday. That has sent me into a tailspin with the whole food intake thing. Lately I have been wondering if my tri suit will even fit and if I will be able to race this season. That is very depressing.

Last night we went to dinner at Chucks with my former coworkers. It was a great time.

Can you believe it?

I am back! I'll post pix soon, but right now they are living on my camera.

We just got back from Estrella War in AZ, which was supposed to be nice and warm and dusty. instead, it was cool and raing and freakin muddy. WTF? http://www.estrellawar.org/

Anyway, the trip was sandwiched with a lovely visit with my mom and a trip to the Grand Canyon. It was a good trip, and nothing beats not being at work. I am dreading the return to work on Monday. sigh. I am afraid there is no escaping it.

COLD!!

After a nice warm Sunday and Monday (55F) Iowa went in the deep freeze yesterday. It dropped 50 degrees in 24 hours. This morning I was so cold walking into work I couldn't feel my legs, feet or hands, and they were all covered up pretty well. It is just too cold for humans. All I want to do is stay home in some flannel jammies, put a Charmed disc in the DVD player and knit lots of wooly stuff.

Well that picture didn't work like I wanted it to. Suffice it to say, it's friggin cold.

Frustration

Just when I thought it couldn't get any more annoying, I decided to sprain my ankle yesterday. It's not bad. Just annoying, but also means I need to not even try to run on it for a few days at least. The weight is not going anywhere but over the edge of my jeans.

I do have a pair of socks almost done. I will finish the toe tonight. Then I can cast on for a new felted bag!

It Lies

The scale that is. How is it possible that I can be so good with my food and even better with the exercise and that damned thing isn't looking any better. My clothes are slightly better, but not a lot. WTF am I doing wrong? I know how to lose weight. I am better at gaining it. I should try not to gain it, because losing it just sucks. Another weigh in tomorrow. We will see. Grrr.

You guessed it!

It is a new year and thus I must put a new ding in my car. Fothermucker!

I have one finished sock. Love it. I have started the second sock.

My flair for writing papers is stalled, and thus I have this blog to distract me.

Can not eating enough make you gain weight? Ask me how!

My Baby is 12!

My ornery and wonderful son turned 12 on Saturday. We were at an SCA event but we had birthday cake with about 100 other folks. It was fun. He'll get a little party with some of his kid buddies sometime later this month. I am not sure if he has yet outgrown birthday parties. Probably not. Every time I think he is a big "man" he shows me he has a streak of pure little kid. This is not always a bad thing, it's just a reminder to me and his dad that he's still our baby boy. I am sure once the hormones get a hold of him all will be lost.

I am getting into my first class for my Masters of Public Health program. It's online, which is a weird format for me, but I think I might like it. It's like having homework that's online chatting. That can't be all bad. My first paper is due next week. It's been 17 or so years since I wrote a paper. Yikes!!

Tiny picture

What happened there?

Hello. . .is this thing on?

Blog failure. No, Mel failure. Failure to post.

Soooo busy!! Not enough knitting.

School (Masters of Public Health) starts this week, but really it started last week with "introductions" on the online Blackboard and reading. I think I am glad that I am only taking one class at a time right now. This is going to be a lot of work.

My good friend Talbot was knighted last weekend. I had the fun of making some food (with help) for the celebration.